today my life still goes on like the usualls.i have to get up early for class.have to wear makeup and have to where those freaki'n high heels.imagine that i have to walk up the stairs to the 4th floor everyday wearing those high heels.my legs really hurts.today my mind kept on thinking about something.i cant get it off my head.i kept thinking about when am i gonna fell in love?when i'm gonna meet the right person for me?i sometimes got jealous to see those people with their soulmates and all.i've also seen people get heart broken coz of this love things.it made me feel that i should not be inlove but at the same time i want to be in love.i feel like i wanna be with the person who wanna be with me,who cares bout me,who i can hold hands with.i'm so freaking jealous.hishhhh.the second tought is that i dont wanna be in love is because u'll never know when the really loves u or just playing with you.but the other thing we girls should also should not judge guys.there's a reason for all of this,but i'm not sure what to say and why we should not judge guys.maybe because in the end the truth hurts or the opposite.sometimes i feel hate when seeing someone to be in love.help me doe.if u people have any ideas what i should do,do leave me a comment.i really appreciate it.

Maybe its me.

mcm mana nak cakap ya.Hati ini tak terkata.i tak tau nak buat apa lagi.everything i keep to myself.it's hard for me to say it out loud.this blog is the only place i boleh beritahu or cakap.i kalau cinta ini xsuka sangat menaruh banyak harapan.cinta ini membunuh ku.here it goes.i ada suke kat orang ini,but die xpernah perasan pun.if the perasan pun xkan dia nak bagi tahu yang dia suke i jugak kan.semua simpan dekat dalam hati.so,this guy ni budak kat college i.he's the same age as me.have soft skin,coklatie skin,clean cut and ada tahi lalat manis kat bawah matanya.masa orentasi,dia group ngan.everything we've done,we done it togather.everytime he see's me he would sing this song that i'm starting to love it right now.everytime i see him i become breathless.but,since after the orentation i seems to be avoiding him.i dunno why.but he dint stop from avoiding me.the saddess thing is that i ignored him when he sings me the song.there's this presentation i have to do where i have to observ MR.H class.it was his class.he came and sit right beside me but i ignored him.i knnow he was sitting beside him.then he started to sing that song.everythime he sings that song he expects me to look at him.but this time i dint look at him.even kawan dia cakap kat dia "dah la wei.dia x denga".masa i dengar itu hati i tiba-tiba jadi sedih.everytime i denga lagu itu hati i jadi sayu.i selalu memikir tentang dia.but bila i fikir pulak,dia ada pikir tentang i ke?ke i sahaja yang macam tu.now my life is a blur.i'm just living at the back of my shadow.if only he dapat read my perasaan terhadap dia kat blog ini.i sayang sangat dia.maybe sebab itu ke i cuba avoid kan diri from him,untuk i melupakan dia ke?tell me.i really need help.when wrote this i cant stop crying.asking myself why does this happens.

Kay called me Yuna first.

Last time,in my group,we have been given a task by our Facilitator to create a Flag logo and a cheer.So okey,i as usuall only looking at what they r doing.In this one group we have been divide in to more.One group have to create a cheer and the other has to create a flag for the group.I was placed in a group that have to create a flag.there r rules in creating this flag.The name of this group must be a Superhero that you like.Our group choose NINJA TURTLE MALAYA.The flag that we have to draw must have the same significant to the name of the group.I was sitting quietly and drawing for fun while they are still talking and thinking about what the flag should look like.Suddenly,Kay,one of my group friends that i barely talk to ask me to layout my idea that i have drawn on a piece of cloth that they gave.They said that my drawing is good.But i was like silent for a moment.I was like saying R u serious??What happen if the drawing would be a disaster??One thing oabout my group,they are very supportiff and sporting.So i drew the flag logo.The group like it and the facilitator likes it.We got the second place for the best cheer ever.Its a simple cheer.Its not the kind of cheer where we have to flip people around or anything.hahahha.That would be preety crazy awkward.the second last day,we have been given another task.We have to create a gift or present as many as we can by using only the things that they gave us.A string,bottles,box.glue,mahjong paper and a few more stuff.So okey,we're sitting in circles,thinking what can we create as a memorable gift to our lovely Facilitator Abang AJ.Then,Kay decided with that piece of paper we could make a huge poster.We all agreed to his idea.Then he said,who knows how to draw?who is good in drawing.I kept silent.Praying to got that it would not be me.Then he shouted for Yuna.I was like FEWWW!!Thank god it wasnt me.Obviously i was searching for the person named Yuna but i can't seemed to find that particular person.Suddenly,Ieeya from across shouted,"la lala,buat muka innocent plak dia.You la Izzy!!".I was like what.My name is not Yuna.My name is Izzy.But the guys especially Kay keep on calling me Yuna.I ask him why,then he said he love it.Everytime i walk past by him he would sing that Yuna's song.He's so good looking and sweet and everytime he sings that song to me makes my heart melts.Everytime when he is with his friends and Kay saw me me,Kay would say to his friends,"Hey guys,this is Yuna".And his friends would say "Hey Yuna,nk kenal boleh".Bueekkkk only in my heart.But when Kay say Yuna i'm so happy to hear his voice.I've wanting to take his phone number but i dint have the time to do so.So to days ago,before i got back to my hometown,in the classroom we have to introduced ourselves to others in english.So okey,i did my part.Then the lecturer ask the students if they have any questions for me.Kay was the first one to ask,"who did your hair,Its very pretty"my face blushed.He aslo shouted and said that my name is Yuna not Izzy.At the end of the day,we were all about to get out the class ant take a bus to go back to our hometown,Kay keeps on calling my name and then he would hide his face.We all stand up to get out.The last thing i heard from him is that was singing the song that he always sing to me which is Yuna's song "DAN SEBENARNYA CINTA"while looking into my eyes before he got out first.That was the last time and the last day i heard from him.I wish to see him again soon in college.Hmmmm...