It hurts when i kept thinking of it

How am i suppose to leave this all behind.My tears are turning into time.I cant leave without you.I cant breath without you.Seeing you with another person may make me look like i font care.But u cant see my heart bleeding.I can see through you eyes when you saw me that i saw u.I cant tell when your face changes.i can se you kept looking at my while your girlfriend busy playing with your hair.It hurts me seeing u with her.But what can i do.What i can see is the world crumble on me.The world is still spinning.And i'm still living.So i would not make this thing make me refuse to move on.I will move on.Moving on with the fear of being in love.This is because i'm starting to feel that everytime when i like that someone,i can feel that they would end up with someone else.

Eid 09.

Today as usual.i've got to get up for Kesatria.The one thing i hateed most is this subject so called Kesatria.Pakal je ade markah,if not,i dah ditch dah.Yela,wasting my time doing something that is not important.I rather do what i love most which is blogging,myspacing,tagging,facebook and friendster.Today also my heart started pounding.Because of what i dont really know.Maybe because i know that i'm going back to my hometown in 5 days time.pejam celik pejam celik daa nak habis puase.wohoo.It has been 4 week i didnt go home.So i miss my house very much.Rumah baru pulak tu.So i actually not expecting raye this year because this year alot of things changes.I just want to go home.This year i've lost many of my lost one's.The person that i've ever love is my grandmother.Losing her last month is hard for me.Thinking of her all the time makes me damn really sad.Everything i do reminds me of her.everytime i went into her room that she use to stay in,i can see her face smiling,i can see we're having breakfast togather,laugh and facing the hard days togather.I can feel her hands hugging me everyday before i go to school.Know i know she's in a better place now.I know god loves her more than me.Thats why God took her away from me.I miss her so much.If only i had another chance to see her again.

Can't Breathe Easy.

Cruel to the eye
I see the way he makes you smile
Cruel to the eye
Watching him hold what used to be mine

Why did I lie?
What did I walk away to find
Ooohhh - why 
oooh - why

I can't breathe easy
Can't sleep at night
Till you're by my side
No I can't breathe easy
I can't dream yet another dream
Without you lying next to me
There's no air

Curse me inside
For every word that caused you to cry
Curse me inside

I won't forget, no I won't baby,
I don't know why (don't know why)
I left the one I was looking to find

Ooh - why
ooooh, why

Why

I can't breathe easy
Can't sleep at night
Till you're by my side
No I can't breathe easy
I can't dream yet another dream
Without you lying next to me
There's no air

No I can't breathe easy
I can't dream yet another dream
Without you lying next to me
There's no air

Out of my mind
Nothing makes sense anymore
I want you back in my life

That's all I'm breathing for

Ooooooohhhhh

Can't sleep at night
Till you're by my side

I can't breathe easy

I can't dream yet another dream
Without you lying next to me
There's no air

There's no air

My greatest fear.

Today in Bel120 class lecture,my lecturer given us a task where we have to tell infront of the whole class about what is our greatest fear.I told them that my greatest fear would be the fear of being away from my family.I kept thinking of them everyday.I am very close to my family.I'm always beside them untill now i have to go to college.I was scared and devastated at first.I dint show any expression on my face because i dont want them to be sad seeing me leaving especially my parents.Not being with them the whole day is like making me look as tho as i dont love them.I always kept thinking wat happen if there's someting going wrong over there and i'm not there?!I'm so fucking worrid.My friends may not understand how i feel.My roomie kept saying that they are not close with their parents.When i asked why,the answer is "don't know".What kind of a person that can say that they are not close to their family.Why not be close?Now it has been 4 weeks since i seen my family.I miss them so much.I cant wait to hug my parents,my brothers and sisters.I cant wait for September 17 to come.huhuhuhu.Damn happy.

Heartbreaker(i have to walk a way even tho i love you)

Have u ever feel that,when u see someone you like being with another person?to me it hurts.But what can is say right.I could just only see annd be happy for them.Maybe we are npt ment to be.I've wrote about this special someone before in this blog.I said that i liked him but its hard for me to express my feelings out to that one person.Now,i just have to let it all go.I have to forget him.I have to stop thinking about him.Everytime i hear that Yuna song "Oh Bulan" i would get sad coz that is the song that he sang to me.U're gonna remember me but i have to stop remembering you.It hurts me everytime i think of you.even tho i moved on,it's still hard to walk away.i make myself think that i can move on but i can't.I wish you the best.I dont care who you choose,i'm still happy for you.Someday i'm gonna find my true love maybe.When?I really don't know.My heart that had been opened for you before have been closed.I have to let you go even tho i don't want to.How i wish you can read my feelings when you see me.HOw i wish you know how much i Love you.My love for you have starting to fade away.Its starting to close.Its hard to have feelings for someone.Maybe i'm just imagening all of this by my own.How would i know if he like me back?hahaha.How stupid am i imagening all of these.(crying).I maybe jealous to see you with that girl,but i could only watch without doing anything.its sad to see,but what could i do?I could just watch with a huge scratch and a whole in my heart.I want to bee in love.I want to feel to be in love.I want to feel the hands that would wipe off my tears that are drooling from my eyes.I want the person who could love me for me.Not for someone else.i want to feel the hands that fits between my fingers.Do that guy exist?Is he here.(thinking and blur).On the other hand,i'm also scared.I'm scard if the person for me is cheating,just playing.What happen if we fight on some small stupid things?and the worst thing,What would happen if one of us decided to breakup or people say clash nowadays?